JKG | jkgphotography.co.uk
Location: Balham, London
I've been doing interviews and press frequently since 2015 and as my career has elevated along the way, so has all the interest in what I plan on doing next. Blogging, Youtube and making a living through online content and advertising is new, exciting and curious for so many
- including the very people that are doing it.
In the past I have easily been able to talk about my hopes for the future with what I'd like to do and where I'd like my career to go. However as of late, things haven't been that easy and why? Because I don't have a fucking clue 'what's next for Grace'.
This year has been incredible for me in so many ways, both personally and professionally.
I started the new year balls deep in therapy, announced my book deal and I also moved into my incredible new flat (although its not that new anymore but I'm still obsessed with it lol). And as we're nearing the end of 2017, things have only gotten better. I've left therapy (read more about that here), appeared as the lead role/dancer in a music video (you can watch that here), collaborated with amazing brands and became one of 3 brand ambassadors for FeelUnique. Oh and just a few days ago I performed a spoken word for my very own Ted Talk - I nearly poo'd my pants but I did it, yay!
So in terms of what I believe success is, I'm extremely happy with how things have been going, however I don't know what I want to do next. This weird transitional stage I'm in is making me re-think, change and sit back whilst I figure not only my life out, but myself too.
I'm different than I used to be in so many ways. I'm calmer with more compassion, comfortable yet vulnerable, secure and strong, yet soft and somewhat playful.
The hunger inside of me was always looking for my next project, my next opportunity, my next big thing, but for some reason that just doesn't feel natural to me anymore.
I no longer want to work myself to the bone or grind so hard I don't have a chance to enjoy what I'm doing at that very moment. I don't know where I'm headed exactly, but.. and I don't know why - it doesn't scare me.
I have absolutely no idea what 2018 has in store for me, and I'm not even sure what I want to do either. I had it all figured out until I actually got to know myself and then I realised that the things that used to make me happy, simply don't anymore. I mentioned in this post that I used to pin my self worth on productivity and how successful I am in my career, but the urge to do that has fleeted. Its flown away and I am left with a long wide open road of opportunity.
I just don't know which path to take.
I know the position I am in is of great privilege. I am financially ok to not have a real focus for a while and I can take some risks and try new things until I figure stuff out. And although I don't necessarily feel scared, there is definitely anticipation in the air and a slight spout of anxiety of the unknown.
I have never been here before. I have never not known how to execute what I want and it feels.. weird. I know I want to heal myself so that I can heal others but in what capacity? I have no clue. I want to help people and spread the message of self love. I want to empower women with fashion, fat acceptance and learning how to have a well mind. I want to do so much, that right now I can't do anything at all. I can feel in myself that I need to just sit and be still for a while. I need to ponder and relax and allow my thoughts to order themselves correctly - when they are ready.
I've given myself to my work, to my management, to my followers, to society for so long that I think its time I give something to myself now too. This year I realised the importance of slowing down, self care and doing the things that make me happy - I think I want to continue doing that. I've found my spirituality and I feel compelled to explore that side of me. I feel powerful and I'm excited to meet me again in a year's time, to see how far I've come..
So.. to answer my most asked question lol 'Hi Grace, so what's next for you?', my answer is 'who knows'.
Right now I'm winging it, enjoying the ride and hoping with everything I am that the path set out for me, will appear if I continue to work hard, get my head down and discover more of who I am. I don't know where I'm heading, but I'm damn sure I'll get there.
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