LETS TALK BODY POSITIVITY & THE WORD FAT


I never realised it was possible to actually love yourself if you didn't have a flat tummy, slender thighs, perfect hair or toned arms. It was drilled into me from a young age that being me wasn't acceptable and looking the way I did wasn't good enough..

Peers, 'friends' and even certain family members would pick me apart and put me down simply because I wasn't thin enough & for as long as I can remember being 'fat' wasn't something to be proud of. Fat was gross & it felt like it just wasn't allowed. You had to be thin, you had to be slim. For me, fat was an insult, a word that nobody ever wanted to be called, a word that caused pain, upset & even harm. What is it about society that can turn a word into something so powerful?

Its no secret the issues I have faced and things I've been through because I was painfully unhappy with me. I couldn't accept myself for who I really was & when you think about it, who can blame me?
How can anyone love themselves for who they really are when being yourself leaves you vulnerable and open to judgement and shame?


My whole life I couldn't bare to look at myself in the mirror. All I saw was rolls, stretch marks, cellulite and everything else, but as I've grown up, in particular this year I have realised something. Body image is all about acceptance. If there were people on the front cover of magazines with rolls, stretch marks, cellulite and everything else, we would probably be more accepting of our bodies, as well as other peoples. I don't know when the penny dropped, or when I realised enough is enough but I'm finally in a place where I can look at myself and think 'you know what, I f***ing love you'. Yes, I have some work to do, I could probably drop a few pounds and exercise a little more (for health reasons), but I'm not going to punish myself or hate myself because I'm not there yet. Life is all about journeys & I'm very confident that I will get where I need to be, but who says you can't have a laugh and love yourself whilst you're on your way? Thats the fun part right?

I guess I was a product of my environment. I never really saw anyone happy with how they looked. Women around me would say 'I've put on so much weight' (as if it were a bad thing) and I would hear them constantly put themselves down. Until a few months ago, I didn't actually think you could be happy with your body if you were bigger than what society deems as acceptable. If I'm honest with you and myself, I hated being 'fat', or called 'fat'. I would look at someone who was overweight and think 'ugh, they need to lose weight, they're disgusting'. Maybe it was a projection of how I felt about myself, but I also think it was because all my life, I have never been shown or taught that being fat is beautiful too. Thinking about that now makes me tear up :( I get really upset thinking about how brain washed I was & how obsessed I was with trying to be thin, trying to constantly lose weight, trying to better myself when I'm fanfatfuckingtastic just being me.


This year I shed everything but weight. I shed negative people, negative thoughts and negative behaviours. If something doesn't make me feel good about myself, then its gone. I began to really love myself from the inside out and I can finally say with the upmost belief that I LOVE ME. I made a choice that I was going to be happy, I made a choice that I was going to look at me, beyond my outer exterior. Just because society doesn't think stretch marks or extra fat are beautiful, that doesn't mean that they aren't. I worked on change. I changed or let go of anything that didn't serve me growth. I drilled into myself that the word fat is exactly that.. just a word. 

I've accepted myself for who I am at this precise moment. Health is important to me and thats what I focus on, eating right and exercising is the best thing for my mind so thats why I do both (like I said I'm still working on this) but I'm not eating kale or running to get into a pair of size 14 jeans anymore. What I have learned about being body positive is that its an acceptance for and of anyone, at any size. How people choose to live their lives & how many burgers vs how much salad they eat is none of my business, its not your business either. If someone is happy with them then thats what truly matters. I know how desperate I was to feel happy, so if someone has achieved that then good on them. Body positivity isn't just about me & how I view myself, its how I view others. It took me a slice of humble pie and a swallow of my pride to realise that but I have now, and boy does it feel good.

From the girl who used to cut herself to feel, used to throw up her food so her tummy would be flatter to now someone who can post bikini selfies & eat a pizza without feeling guilty and all because I've learned acceptance, I've learned how to really love and I've learned how to be body positive. My mind set has completely and utterly changed & I genuinely can't believe I'm here. Yep, my arms are bigger than some girls and yup, my thighs jiggle, yep my boobs are saggy and yep my tummy has 1-3 rolls depending on how many rolls I've eaten LOL, but I've also got an amazing heart, big hair and even bigger personality. 


Im heavier than I have been but I'm also happier than I have ever been & to me, thats what really matters. Getting here was hard, so hard, but I can say with complete honesty and pride, it was worth every damn second. Im not saying I don't have off days where I feel insecure and negative about how I look, I am only human after all. What I'm saying is that 90% of the time I love me, the bare faced, chubby cheeked, potty mouthed me that isn't going to change to conform to society's ideal of whats beautiful. Im not going to change to fit in & if someone has an issue with that - thats not my problem.

We still live in a world where people would rather you be slim and unhappy than fat and happy, but that will not deter me from whats important. Im breaking down barriers every single day whether that be in the industry, with mental health awareness or simply 'causing a stir' for speaking my mind. I don't need reassurance from other people that I'm good enough because I know for myself that I'm good enough, I'm more than good enough..


Being comfortable with your size, your body & how you look in general is a personal journey that I hope all of you are able to go on. It takes just one step to start, a lot of hard work & sacrifice, but the results will stay embedded in you forever. I know words hurt, I know what its like to wake up every single morning wishing you were someone else, it sucks, it sucks so much but with time and investment in to yourself you will get there.

I hope this post made sense, I am aware I like to waffle on a bit. Let me know your thoughts in the comments, or tweet me @graciefrancesca if you like. Lots of love x

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29 comments

  1. Hi Gracie,

    I love this and I love you !

    I am so glad you have reached this awesome place which is such an achievement - I hope I get there too. I love your overall message and what hope you bring to so many of us girls.

    You are one of the reasons why I started blogging, to share and to be open with everyone and more so yourself. Thanks for being such an inspiration.

    Yas xxx
    www.yasbeyou.com

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    Replies
    1. My name is Sue Ball, and I am very happy for posting on this blog on how a great spell caster helped me in bringing back the love of my life. I know there are lots of women like me out there who have done so much to have back their Husband, I am here to tell you all to search no further because the answer is right here. I sincerely believe if there are up to five spell casters like Dr Trust this world would be a better place, I have seen people complaining on how fake spell castes promised to help them but couldn't but with Dr Trust I tell you your problem is solved already. My Husband and I had been apart for 3 YEARS and I couldn't bear without living without him, I have tried everything to have him back but nothing was working until I saw numerous testimonies about a spell caster called Dr Trust and how great his work is. I contacted him immediately and follow the step that he ask and in the next 48 hours my ex husband called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I filled so much joy and happiness that I found Dr Trust, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband or love back in just 48 hours. E-mail address is Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com ,,,Via web sit: http://ultimatespellcast8.wix.com/ultimatespellcast You are the next to share your testimony to every one in the world.

      Delete
  2. This was so, so beautiful, It makes me so happy you can accept yourself -You're beautiful after all!
    Now I'm in tears aha!
    -Cait xx

    Passionate-Mind.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. This is such an important post. So proud of you, Gracie.

    Rachel | www.currentlyrachel.com

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  4. If just someone could've said this to me 4 years ago! I love this post and nobody could've said this better than you! xo
    www.iuliatudosa.wordpress.com

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  5. happy and healthy are the only things we need to be xx

    http://wiltedxfaded.blogspot.co.uk/

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  6. wonderful, brightened up my day. we don't love ourselves enough x

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  7. I've being working on the same thing, and this year it really clicked for me. As a skinny girl, I'm judged on being too skinny, asked if I even eat and asked how often and for how long I exercise. As a model, i'm judged and just told to lose more weight, slim down, tone up. But I have curves (read: hips and boobs) and that doesn't fit a model stereotype and therefore I don't fit the standard mould.
    But why do you have to fit the ideal? Whats in it for you? Every model I know, who most women would deem perfect know every imperfect part of themselves. We are humans too.
    But the ultimate take away from your post and what ive learnt myself, is to listen to yourself. Don't listen to what the world deems you should be, what stereotype you should fit. Happiness truly comes from within and you have to learn to love yourself.

    Your post was perfect and I applaud you for getting to such a happy place with yourself. Thank you for sharing.

    Georgie x
    http://www.naturallytoms.com

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  8. Fantastic post, i struggle envy day with body image and negativity. These are truly inspiring words.
    Congratulations on your new state of mind xo

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  9. Thank you for writing such a honest,truthful and inspiring post, I think alot of people, myself included can relate and will take comfort in your strength and ability to be so open. xx

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  10. When I saw you posted on this issue I was a bit hesitant to read it. ONLY because I was terrified of reading exactly how I have been feeling for many years. Because no it's no longer something inside my head, it's coming to the surface with more and more people talking in this, especially you who literally takes the words right out of my mouth.

    It's hard to explain to a lot of people or confide in people because they don't understand what it is to be a big girl who wants to me small and slim, with the flat stomach and tiny firm thighs. It's not just a physical thing, it's mental too. The mental part kinda out weighs it for me. Because in my mind, on some days, the smaller you look or are, the more people will like you, give you the time if day, respect you. Which is insane.
    I'm currently on a weight loss journey and I'm pretty confused now, as to why I'm doing it? Will I be happy because I'm skinner? And I'll meet a guy that likes me? Am I even doing it for myself or for the visual stimulation of society?

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  11. Hi Grace, I love your honesty and how open you are each post I read I am able to reflect on my own issues with weight! i'm glad that I can relate to someone

    Love you lots
    http://lifeofadesertteen.weebly.com/

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  12. This is such an important and inspiring post! I am yet to get where you are, I too have been pulled apart all my life and am now filled with so much self hatred and anxiety due to my looks and having no confidence but my goals are to be in this place where you are, hopefully in the near future!
    Keep inspiring!

    Sian | The Tattooed Princess

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  13. Grace, your honesty and truth always inspires me. Thank you :)

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  14. I finally came around to reading your post after reading so much about it on twitter and I am in tears. I am so happy for you and so touched by your words. Probably because I am going through a similar journey and I can relate even though I'm not yet ready to post bikini pictures of myself... But you give me so much hope and have done for years now, I want to thank you for being so honest about everything you're going through you are such an inspiration and I can never express how much your videos have helped me at times ! I wish you all the best in the future, you are beautiful inside and out <3

    xx, Charlie.

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  15. What a special post. Look how far you have come, Gracie. Well done, you. And long, long, long may it continue :) I've read your blog and watched your videos for years and have watched you grow, and you will continue to grow, and it will continue to dazzle people and inspire people. You should be so, so proud.

    Katie xxx

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  16. Great essay. Keep up the inspirational words and work. You are fantastic; so glad you are doing you, boo..;} Love the pics. U look booty-licious in swimsuit pics and gorgeous in model photos...

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  18. Love this <3 Inspiration to other women x

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  19. Beautiful post! I can relate and it is just so wonderful when you find peace & acceptance within yourself! Keep glowing! x

    Natalia - thewomaniwantobe.blogspot.co.uk

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  20. Honesty teared up while reading this. You've inspired me to stop looking so much on the outward appearance and more of who I am on the inside. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Stay beautiful!
    Kathlyn - http://kathlynskorner.blogspot.com/

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  21. I absolutely bloody love this post! FYI, you look amazing in a bikini and now that you've shed the negativity, I bet you have a gorgeous, care free smile too. You don't need to change size to be happy, like you say, you can love yourself at any weight xx

    Sam // Samantha Betteridge

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  22. You, are insane. Thank you for this post, and thank you for being you unapologetically.
    Please, never stop! <3

    @iheartchxr

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  23. My husband cheated on me!,..i recently found out that my husband, while on a business trip, had somewhat of an affair with a business associate. He claims he did not have intercourse with this person, but they did talk a lot and kiss. i really don't know wether to believe that or not. in my heart and mind, he did have intercourse. he says the reason was i wasn't giving him any attention, i was being distant and pushing him away. i agree with this statement. he said this person gave him the attention he has been wanting for some time now and he made the bad decision to take it further. they saw each other two times, both in his hotel room, and he says it was nice to have someone have an interest in him and think that he was 'cool', all the stages of feelings, denial, anger, sadness, i'm feeling all of these all at once. i wondered what do i do now? we want to work things out, but he's being a little impatient with my 'healing process'. i told him i wouldn't be able to get over this in one day, that it would take time. i'm so mentally exhausted, i don't know what to do or think right now. I was wondering through the internet when i found help well, I want to thank Dr Frank Ojo for bringing joy and happiness to my relationship and my family. I lost my husband and i required help until i found Dr Frank Ojo a genuine spell caster, And he assured me that I will get my husband back in two days after the spell has been cast. two days later, my phone rang, and so shockingly, it was my husband who has not called me for long, and made an apology for the heart break, and told me that he is ready to devote the rest of his life with me. Dr Frank Ojo released him up to know how much i loved and wanted him.. right now me and my husband are living a happy life and our love is now stronger than how it were even before our break up..All thanks goes to Dr Frank Ojo for the excessive work that he has done for me. Below is his email address in situation you are undergoing a heart break, and I assure you that as he has done mine for me, he will definitely help you too. Email: { Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com }, Dr Frank is Powerful Spell Casting and he have 26 Years Experience‎, you can visit his website: http://lovespell2.yolasite.com. IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEM CONTACT HIM I GIVE YOU 100% GUARANTEE THAT HE WILL HELP YOU..

    ReplyDelete
  24. Hi everyone, fix your broken relationship and marriage right now no matter how hopeless your situation seems!! I am so excited sharing my testimony with everyone here about how i saved my marriage and got my husband back after a divorce..I am Natasha Hayes by name and i live in England. I'm a happily married to a lovely and caring husband ,with two kids.A very big problem occurred in my family seven months ago,between me and my husband .so terrible that he took the case to court for a divorce.he said that he never wanted to stay with me again,and that he didn't love me anymore.So he packed out of the house and made me and my children passed through severe pain. I tried all my possible means to get him back,after much begging,but all to no avail.and he confirmed it that he has made his decision,and he never wanted to see me again. So on one evening,as i was coming back from work,i met an old friend of mine who asked of my husband .So i explained every thing to him,so he told me that the only way i can get my husband back,is to visit a spell caster,because it has really worked for him too.So i never believed in spell,but i had no other choice,than to follow his advice. Then he gave me the email address of the spell caster whom he visited.{Unityspelltemple@gmail.com}. So the next morning,i sent a mail to the address he gave to me,and the spell caster assured me that i will get my husband back the next day.What an amazing statement!! I never believed,so he spoke with me,and told me everything that i need to do. Then the next morning, So surprisingly, my husband who didn't call me for the past{7}months,gave me a call to inform me that he was coming back.So Amazing!! So that was how he came back that same day,with lots of love and joy,and he apologized for his mistake,and for the pain he caused me and my children. Then from that day,our marriage was now stronger than how it were before,by the help of a spell caster Dr Unity. So, i will advice you out there, if you have any problem contact Dr Unity and i guarantee you that he will help you and you will be the next to share your testimony to every one in the world!!. Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com or call him on: +2348072370762.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Getting ex boyfriend back after a breakup,I’m extremely happy that will are living together again. Am Maria 21yr from England, my boyfriend of a 4yr just broke up with me and am 30 weeks pregnant.I have cried my self to sleep most of the nights and don’t seem to concentrate during lectures sometimes I stay awake almost all night thinking about him and start to cry all over again.Because of this I end up not having energy for my next day’s classes ,my attendance has dropped and am always in uni and on time.Generally he is a very nice guy ,he ended it because he said we were arguing a lot and not getting along.He is right we’ve been arguing during the pregnancy a lot .After the break up I kept ringing him and telling him I will change.I am in love with this guy and he is the best guy I have ever been with.I’m still hurt and in disbelief when he said he didn’t have any romantic feelings towards me anymore that hurt me faster than a lethal syringe.He texts me now and then mainly to check up on how am doing with the pregnancy,he is supportive with it but it’s not fair on me, him texting me as I just want to grieve the pain and not have any stress due to the pregnancy.i was really upset and i needed help, so i searched for help online and I came across a website that suggested that Dr Unity can help solve marital problems, restore broken relationships and so on. So, I felt I should give him a try. I contacted him and he told me what to do and i did it then he did a spell for me. 28 hours later, my bf came to me and apologized for the wrongs he did and promise never to do it again. Ever since then, everything has returned back to normal. I and my bf are living together happily again.. All thanks to Dr Unity. If you have any problem contact Dr.Unity now and i guarantee you that he will help you.Email him at: Unityspelltemple@gmail.com ,you can also call him or add him on whats-app: +2348071622464.

    ReplyDelete
  26. My name is Sue Ball, and I am very happy for posting on this blog on how a great spell caster helped me in bringing back the love of my life. I know there are lots of women like me out there who have done so much to have back their Husband, I am here to tell you all to search no further because the answer is right here. I sincerely believe if there are up to five spell casters like Dr Trust this world would be a better place, I have seen people complaining on how fake spell castes promised to help them but couldn't but with Dr Trust I tell you your problem is solved already. My Husband and I had been apart for 3 YEARS and I couldn't bear without living without him, I have tried everything to have him back but nothing was working until I saw numerous testimonies about a spell caster called Dr Trust and how great his work is. I contacted him immediately and follow the step that he ask and in the next 48 hours my ex husband called me and was eager for my forgiveness and that he wished nothing more than to have me in his arms forever. I filled so much joy and happiness that I found Dr Trust, I hope you all here will find this testimony of mine and get your husband or love back in just 48 hours. E-mail address is Ultimatespellcast@gmail.com or Ultimatespellcast@yahoo.com ,,,Via web sit: http://ultimatespellcast8.wix.com/ultimatespellcast You are the next to share your testimony to every one in the world.

    ReplyDelete

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