I never realised it was possible to actually love yourself if you didn't have a flat tummy, slender thighs, perfect hair or toned arms. It was drilled into me from a young age that being me wasn't acceptable and looking the way I did wasn't good enough..

Peers, 'friends' and even certain family members would pick me apart and put me down simply because I wasn't thin enough & for as long as I can remember being 'fat' wasn't something to be proud of. Fat was gross & it felt like it just wasn't allowed. You had to be thin, you had to be slim. For me, fat was an insult, a word that nobody ever wanted to be called, a word that caused pain, upset & even harm. What is it about society that can turn a word into something so powerful?

Its no secret the issues I have faced and things I've been through because I was painfully unhappy with me. I couldn't accept myself for who I really was & when you think about it, who can blame me?
How can anyone love themselves for who they really are when being yourself leaves you vulnerable and open to judgement and shame?

My whole life I couldn't bare to look at myself in the mirror. All I saw was rolls, stretch marks, cellulite and everything else, but as I've grown up, in particular this year I have realised something. Body image is all about acceptance. If there were people on the front cover of magazines with rolls, stretch marks, cellulite and everything else, we would probably be more accepting of our bodies, as well as other peoples. I don't know when the penny dropped, or when I realised enough is enough but I'm finally in a place where I can look at myself and think 'you know what, I f***ing love you'. Yes, I have some work to do, I could probably drop a few pounds and exercise a little more (for health reasons), but I'm not going to punish myself or hate myself because I'm not there yet. Life is all about journeys & I'm very confident that I will get where I need to be, but who says you can't have a laugh and love yourself whilst you're on your way? Thats the fun part right?

I guess I was a product of my environment. I never really saw anyone happy with how they looked. Women around me would say 'I've put on so much weight' (as if it were a bad thing) and I would hear them constantly put themselves down. Until a few months ago, I didn't actually think you could be happy with your body if you were bigger than what society deems as acceptable. If I'm honest with you and myself, I hated being 'fat', or called 'fat'. I would look at someone who was overweight and think 'ugh, they need to lose weight, they're disgusting'. Maybe it was a projection of how I felt about myself, but I also think it was because all my life, I have never been shown or taught that being fat is beautiful too. Thinking about that now makes me tear up :( I get really upset thinking about how brain washed I was & how obsessed I was with trying to be thin, trying to constantly lose weight, trying to better myself when I'm fanfatfuckingtastic just being me.

This year I shed everything but weight. I shed negative people, negative thoughts and negative behaviours. If something doesn't make me feel good about myself, then its gone. I began to really love myself from the inside out and I can finally say with the upmost belief that I LOVE ME. I made a choice that I was going to be happy, I made a choice that I was going to look at me, beyond my outer exterior. Just because society doesn't think stretch marks or extra fat are beautiful, that doesn't mean that they aren't. I worked on change. I changed or let go of anything that didn't serve me growth. I drilled into myself that the word fat is exactly that.. just a word. 

I've accepted myself for who I am at this precise moment. Health is important to me and thats what I focus on, eating right and exercising is the best thing for my mind so thats why I do both (like I said I'm still working on this) but I'm not eating kale or running to get into a pair of size 14 jeans anymore. What I have learned about being body positive is that its an acceptance for and of anyone, at any size. How people choose to live their lives & how many burgers vs how much salad they eat is none of my business, its not your business either. If someone is happy with them then thats what truly matters. I know how desperate I was to feel happy, so if someone has achieved that then good on them. Body positivity isn't just about me & how I view myself, its how I view others. It took me a slice of humble pie and a swallow of my pride to realise that but I have now, and boy does it feel good.

From the girl who used to cut herself to feel, used to throw up her food so her tummy would be flatter to now someone who can post bikini selfies & eat a pizza without feeling guilty and all because I've learned acceptance, I've learned how to really love and I've learned how to be body positive. My mind set has completely and utterly changed & I genuinely can't believe I'm here. Yep, my arms are bigger than some girls and yup, my thighs jiggle, yep my boobs are saggy and yep my tummy has 1-3 rolls depending on how many rolls I've eaten LOL, but I've also got an amazing heart, big hair and even bigger personality. 

Im heavier than I have been but I'm also happier than I have ever been & to me, thats what really matters. Getting here was hard, so hard, but I can say with complete honesty and pride, it was worth every damn second. Im not saying I don't have off days where I feel insecure and negative about how I look, I am only human after all. What I'm saying is that 90% of the time I love me, the bare faced, chubby cheeked, potty mouthed me that isn't going to change to conform to society's ideal of whats beautiful. Im not going to change to fit in & if someone has an issue with that - thats not my problem.

We still live in a world where people would rather you be slim and unhappy than fat and happy, but that will not deter me from whats important. Im breaking down barriers every single day whether that be in the industry, with mental health awareness or simply 'causing a stir' for speaking my mind. I don't need reassurance from other people that I'm good enough because I know for myself that I'm good enough, I'm more than good enough..

Being comfortable with your size, your body & how you look in general is a personal journey that I hope all of you are able to go on. It takes just one step to start, a lot of hard work & sacrifice, but the results will stay embedded in you forever. I know words hurt, I know what its like to wake up every single morning wishing you were someone else, it sucks, it sucks so much but with time and investment in to yourself you will get there.

I hope this post made sense, I am aware I like to waffle on a bit. Let me know your thoughts in the comments, or tweet me @graciefrancesca if you like. Lots of love x



  1. Hi Gracie,

    I love this and I love you !

    I am so glad you have reached this awesome place which is such an achievement - I hope I get there too. I love your overall message and what hope you bring to so many of us girls.

    You are one of the reasons why I started blogging, to share and to be open with everyone and more so yourself. Thanks for being such an inspiration.

    Yas xxx

  2. This was so, so beautiful, It makes me so happy you can accept yourself -You're beautiful after all!
    Now I'm in tears aha!
    -Cait xx


  3. This is such an important post. So proud of you, Gracie.

    Rachel | www.currentlyrachel.com

  4. If just someone could've said this to me 4 years ago! I love this post and nobody could've said this better than you! xo

  5. happy and healthy are the only things we need to be xx


  6. wonderful, brightened up my day. we don't love ourselves enough x

  7. I've being working on the same thing, and this year it really clicked for me. As a skinny girl, I'm judged on being too skinny, asked if I even eat and asked how often and for how long I exercise. As a model, i'm judged and just told to lose more weight, slim down, tone up. But I have curves (read: hips and boobs) and that doesn't fit a model stereotype and therefore I don't fit the standard mould.
    But why do you have to fit the ideal? Whats in it for you? Every model I know, who most women would deem perfect know every imperfect part of themselves. We are humans too.
    But the ultimate take away from your post and what ive learnt myself, is to listen to yourself. Don't listen to what the world deems you should be, what stereotype you should fit. Happiness truly comes from within and you have to learn to love yourself.

    Your post was perfect and I applaud you for getting to such a happy place with yourself. Thank you for sharing.

    Georgie x

  8. Fantastic post, i struggle envy day with body image and negativity. These are truly inspiring words.
    Congratulations on your new state of mind xo

  9. Thank you for writing such a honest,truthful and inspiring post, I think alot of people, myself included can relate and will take comfort in your strength and ability to be so open. xx

  10. When I saw you posted on this issue I was a bit hesitant to read it. ONLY because I was terrified of reading exactly how I have been feeling for many years. Because no it's no longer something inside my head, it's coming to the surface with more and more people talking in this, especially you who literally takes the words right out of my mouth.

    It's hard to explain to a lot of people or confide in people because they don't understand what it is to be a big girl who wants to me small and slim, with the flat stomach and tiny firm thighs. It's not just a physical thing, it's mental too. The mental part kinda out weighs it for me. Because in my mind, on some days, the smaller you look or are, the more people will like you, give you the time if day, respect you. Which is insane.
    I'm currently on a weight loss journey and I'm pretty confused now, as to why I'm doing it? Will I be happy because I'm skinner? And I'll meet a guy that likes me? Am I even doing it for myself or for the visual stimulation of society?

  11. Hi Grace, I love your honesty and how open you are each post I read I am able to reflect on my own issues with weight! i'm glad that I can relate to someone

    Love you lots

  12. This is such an important and inspiring post! I am yet to get where you are, I too have been pulled apart all my life and am now filled with so much self hatred and anxiety due to my looks and having no confidence but my goals are to be in this place where you are, hopefully in the near future!
    Keep inspiring!

    Sian | The Tattooed Princess

  13. Grace, your honesty and truth always inspires me. Thank you :)

  14. I finally came around to reading your post after reading so much about it on twitter and I am in tears. I am so happy for you and so touched by your words. Probably because I am going through a similar journey and I can relate even though I'm not yet ready to post bikini pictures of myself... But you give me so much hope and have done for years now, I want to thank you for being so honest about everything you're going through you are such an inspiration and I can never express how much your videos have helped me at times ! I wish you all the best in the future, you are beautiful inside and out <3

    xx, Charlie.

  15. What a special post. Look how far you have come, Gracie. Well done, you. And long, long, long may it continue :) I've read your blog and watched your videos for years and have watched you grow, and you will continue to grow, and it will continue to dazzle people and inspire people. You should be so, so proud.

    Katie xxx

  16. Great essay. Keep up the inspirational words and work. You are fantastic; so glad you are doing you, boo..;} Love the pics. U look booty-licious in swimsuit pics and gorgeous in model photos...

  17. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  18. Love this <3 Inspiration to other women x

    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  19. Beautiful post! I can relate and it is just so wonderful when you find peace & acceptance within yourself! Keep glowing! x

    Natalia - thewomaniwantobe.blogspot.co.uk

  20. Honesty teared up while reading this. You've inspired me to stop looking so much on the outward appearance and more of who I am on the inside. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Stay beautiful!
    Kathlyn - http://kathlynskorner.blogspot.com/

  21. I absolutely bloody love this post! FYI, you look amazing in a bikini and now that you've shed the negativity, I bet you have a gorgeous, care free smile too. You don't need to change size to be happy, like you say, you can love yourself at any weight xx

    Sam // Samantha Betteridge

  22. You, are insane. Thank you for this post, and thank you for being you unapologetically.
    Please, never stop! <3


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