Photography by JKG | jkgphotography.co.uk
Location: Streatham, London
When it comes to personal growth it can be a very long winded process and sometimes a process that may never end. Personal growth can be leaving a toxic relationship or dealing with your mental health problems - both of which I have had to do numerous times throughout my 20s. In my opinion its all about improving your life and ultimately making yourself that little more (sometimes a lot more) happier.
I'm in a really healing and reflective stage of my life at the moment. I've had to process a lifetime worth of trauma and now that I'm coming out the other side, I'm really trying to get to know the new me or should I say the me that was always there - just hidden. Over the last year or so I have completely changed my life around and its only now that I am realising just how much bloody work I've had to put in. Although this journey has taken a lot of time and energy, there are a few things that I believe anyone can do right now without that much effort - if they are in need of improving their life.
These things aren't entirely groundbreaking and maybe not even that surprising but they have worked wonders for me in terms of feeling happier, less stressed and generally just more at peace with the world.
I hope they do the same for you and if they don't.... please don't hate me lol.
Tidy Every Evening Before Bed
I used to wake up in the mornings and instantly feel like 'I just cannot be bothered', and although some days I really couldn't lol, a lot of the time I felt that way because my surroundings were untidy which made me feel uninspired. Because I mainly work from home to create content, feeling like that would hinder my work and then that would increase my workload. I made the decision to start adding 'tidy' to my self care list which I will admit, desperately needed to be on there. So every evening (or nearly every evening) I try to tidy and put things back in their homes. Doing this doesn't even take much time, and not doing it takes up so much more. I go to bed feeling accomplished and like I am an actual adult haha which is a nice feeling. But more importantly I now wake up in the mornings and I look forward to working in a clean, tidy and inspiring environment.
Asking For More Time To Make Decisions
This is something I really didn't have the confidence to ever ask for until recently. I'm not exactly sure why, but the thought of not giving an answer to someone made me feel a bit weird lol. It might be because I'm impatient and like solid answers right there and then (I need to work on this). However in the midst of a slight emotional breakdown due to a heavy workload and nearing deadlines, I realised that I needed to start pushing back on things and asking for more time. More time to finish projects, more time to decide if I want to do something and more time to just sit and think about whatever it is I need to think about. In doing so it allows me to focus and stop stressing over trying to get everything done all at once. Stress is also a massive trigger for me so I have to manage that as much as possible; for my own sanity. Asking for more time makes me feel like I have some control over both my work life and personal life. I've learnt that you don't need to rush into making choices and decisions. Sometimes thinking things over will benefit everyone involved.
Saying 'FUCK IT' To Worry
I know this can be easier said than done but even just realising your worrying over nothing and saying 'FUCK IT' to yourself, is empowering enough. I'm not a big worrier but it does happen sometimes if I feel like I've let someone down and I've previously experienced a sense of guilt if I take time off due to ill health. I think we all need to worry less and just understand that we can't control everything that happens within our lives. Worrying does however mean that you care but when it starts to play on your mind more often than it doesn't then I think a change has to come. So FUCK IT to silly people & silly things and here's to embracing the individual journeys that we are on. If you are particularly struggling with worry about the future, then here is a lovely little piece of advice for you..
"What is meant for you, will never be taken from you. Your path has already been mapped out so wherever you are and wherever you are going - its meant to be"
Unfollowing News/Media Accounts
The world is in an awful place at the moment so a few months ago I decided to unfollow all the 'breaking news' accounts on Twitter. I of course want to know what's going on in the world but not at the cost of my mental health. The devastation and destruction that is currently happening doesn't necessarily make me feel anxious, but it does make me feel helpless and that's not a nice feeling. I can find out whats going on via friends and my favourite tweeters so that I don't live in ignorance. Twitter is SO much more enjoyable now that I'm not bombarded with everything.
Telling My Friends Just How Much I Love Them
I don't know if you lot are aware, but maintaining friendships is something I massively struggle with - I always have! I develop attachments but I can cut off those attachments pretty easily so if someone does me wrong I'm able to just pretend like they don't exist. Savage I know - but I think its just how I've learnt to cope with loss and/or abandonment (again.. I'm going to work on this). So as I've grown and changed, my circle has too and although it has been quite draining and somewhat difficult, it has definitely made me appreciate the good eggs I have in my life and how very little I tell them I love them. So now I consciously make sure I check in on my friends, and I tell them just how fucking much they mean to me. It feels nice to be nice y'know.
Learning Something New
At the moment I'm learning about diet culture and how engrained it is in society. I'n learning about recovery, food, spirituality and about myself. This right now is enough for me but I have so many things I'd like to learn about; energy healing & the history of intersectional feminism being two that I really want to get stuck into. The human brain needs feeding and when you start to fill up on new knowledge you're interested in, its just like being back at school but in your favourite lesson with your favourite teacher.
Intellectual stimulation for the win!
So there's 6 little ways you can improve the quality of your life and with really not that much effort at all. I hope you enjoyed reading and if you have any suggestions of small improvements that may benefit me or other readers - then feel free to comment. A massive thank you also to everyone who has been so lovely about my previous posts. I've really been enjoying creating blog content this year and I think I've come into my own - thats a nice feeling.
Speak soon.. x