It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been sexually active for, how many sexual partners you’ve had or how body confident you are on a general basis, when that new guy is undoing your jeans and you feel your stomach rolls flop out – there are so many thoughts that go through your head.

I’ve been there. I’ve been there so many times.


1. Is this happening? Is this actually happening?

2. Okay its happening.

3. Oh fuck! He 100% just felt that roll I had tucked into my high waisted knickers.

4. OMG now he’s feeling my side fat.

5. And now its my back fat. I wonder what he’s thinking?

6. I bet he’s thinking ‘ew gross’.

7. But why would he think that? Surely he can see my body shape when I’m wearing clothes?

8. I wish I could just stop thinking and enjoy this moment.

9. He’s so hot. I wonder if he has insecurities too?

10. Why’s he looking at me like that? What does that look even mean?


12. Okay, man up! You look amazing. You’ve got this. You’ve got this.

13. I’ve got this.

14. FFS, I really haven’t got this.

15. Im glad I had a wax because my vagina looks fucking fantastic.

16. I like my vagina. I wonder if he does too?

17. He fucking better. I am as smooth as a dolphin right now.

18. I wish I wore matching underwear. When a woman can match her bra and knickers thats how you know she has her shit together, but no. I’m wearing my big pants.

19. I hope he doesn’t think my nipples are weird.

20. Wait, are my nipples weird?

21. How many hours ago did I shower? I feel sweaty already.

22. O M G, I’m actually stress sweating.

23. Close your eyes, relax and enjoy this moment. He’s hot. You’re hot. EVERYBODDDYYY HOT.

24. You are a bad bitch, you’ve got this.

25. I AM A FANTASTIC WOMAN. (chants over and over again in your head)

26. I hope I smell nice.

27. Did he plan this? Did he fucking plan to get me naked?

28. I bet did. The cheek of it.

29. O M G, he literally just stroked my vagina. Did he like it? I liked it. I hoped he liked it.

30. I wonder if he’s seen a body like mine before?

31. I wonder if he’s seen stretch marks and cellulite before?

32. I know my body isn’t perfect but I’ve learned to love it. I hope he loves it too.

33. But what if he doesn’t?

34. Fuck it!! I don’t even think I care.

Girls, these thoughts are perfectly normal to have. Getting naked for the first time with your new love, new man, new boyfriend is daunting, but you know what? He probably feels the same way. But the last thing he’s thinking about are your ‘imperfections’, to him, you’re probably perfect. (and if he doesn’t think that then never let him into your vagina again).