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Location: Streatham, London

For a longtime I tried and very much failed, to be the stereotypical version of how people see me. Being mixed race and plus size, others will often assume I'm a party animal, I'm sociable, I'm outgoing and I'm always up for a laugh (remember the time you'd refer to someone who looks like me as bubbly) FUCKING KILL ME LOL. And whilst there are aspects of me that are all of the above, none play a key role in who I really am.

I don't know why, but growing up people would be surprised if I said that I didn't enjoy clubbing, I wasn't a big drinker, or that I would rather sit at home and do nothing, than go out and engage in small talk. This is how I've always been, but I would often suppress this to be seen as "fun", because there is definitely a slight stigma (stigma is probably the wrong word but I can't think of a replacement), attached with being 'boring'.

Back in the day your mates would turn their nose up at you, if you didn't want to go out on a Friday night, or you couldn't really be bothered to see your friends, sister's, ex's cousin on her birthday. And when I was internet dating, men would often gasp or pull a shocked face, when I told them that I'd been out clubbing only a hand full of times and that I'm usually in bed before midnight - even on the weekends.

I remember in my early 20s, that I would literally force myself to do things that I didn't want to do, so that my social circle would stop going on at me lol. I'd go to parties, out for drinks or events and smile and laugh and pretend that I really wanted to be in a room full of people that I didn't particular know, or like. And you know what? It was draining and I hated it.

And I still hate doing it now.


As a blogger, as a confident person and as someone who people assume has lots and lots of friends, I sometimes feel as though as I am expected to be sociable. To be the party animal and/or the life and soul of the partaaaay.

When my career REALLY took off, I began working with a PR company who would get me invited to lots of events and parties and social gatherings so that I could be 'seen'. In layman's terms 'be papped'. I get it. I get that its a way to grow your profile and for the general public to start recognising who you are, outside of social media. However, I found this incredibly difficult and somewhat soul destroying. I don't particularly like industry events as it is. I gave up attending lots of events years ago, when I realised you didn't actually need to go to them in order to gain success within the blogosphere. So when I had to attend events for the sole purpose of showing my face, it just didn't sit right with me. It felt wrong and after 3 or 4 attempts, I just gave up and decided it wasn't for me.

Part of the reason I struggling with mingling, is because I just find it draining. I feel other peoples energies and aura's so profoundly deeply, that when I am constantly on and around others, its like I've ran a bloody marathon. I hope some of you reading this know exactly how I feel and that I'm not coming across like a moany bitch lol.

I'm an introvert at heart but take on an extrovert's tendencies because its all part of the act. When I say act, I don't mean in a fake way, I mean in a way where you have to be a people person in the field of work I am in. I have to meet people when on shoots etc and attend meetings with brands - when in all honesty, I just like being at home working and doing bits and bobs around my flat. But part of being an introvert is feeling alone when in crowds. Enjoying your own company. Getting angsty when you've been active for too long and ignoring calls and dodging conversations until you've mentally prepared yourself for them. (does this sound familiar?)

So how do I navigate life when who I am and who I have to be is often completely different?


Shop My Look

Pink Glitter Suit Trousers* | Premme
Pink Glitter Suit Jacket* |Premme
Slogan Top | F21
Yellow Nikes | ASOS

Over the last year, I've tried super hard to do everything with love and from a kind place. There is an age old saying of 'do more of what makes you happy' and that really resonates with me. Whilst I do believe the importance of seeing friends and socialising, I also believe how paramount it is to do the things you really want to do. For me, that's staying in on Friday nights so that I can recuperate after a busy week, order my favourite Thai food, burn some candles and incense and watch a film.

Going out and engaging in conversations is healthy, don't get me wrong. And I don't want this post to be twisted into 'I hate all humans so I'm a recluse and stay inside' lol. I actually see a select few people on a regular basis and LOVE spending time with them - but that's the catch right there. For my own sanity and mental health I have to be selective with who I let in, and who I allow to share my energy with. When you recover from trauma, you see the world differently and that means you become different too. I can only really be around people who's morals align with mine. You may see on social that I often use #spiritualfamily when I hang out with certain people - these are the kind of people I like to spend time with.

I know its a personal choice to navigate life in this capacity, but its honestly a way that I practice self care. I like to be around others who feed my soul and I feed theirs. People who are healing and vibrating at a frequency that sits outside of their physical self. People who leave me feeling high instead of low, and full instead of empty.

Being unsociable is a way for me to protect myself and a way for me to recharge and reset.




  1. Izzy Taylor
    16th February 2018 / 1:20 pm

    You look incredible.. I wish I could rock clothes like you do!

  2. D T
    16th February 2018 / 5:23 pm

    You have just describe EXACTLY how i feel but could never put into words! I literally just love my own company lol. Ty ty ty ❤️

  3. 16th February 2018 / 6:38 pm

    I am an introvert, extrovert, and an empathy; I totally get it. Great post

  4. 16th February 2018 / 6:47 pm

    Introverts unite! I have never been a “sociable” people so Commonly misinterpret that as rude and it’s so bloody annoying. I just love my own company honestly I don’t think there’s anything better, sure, I love girls lunches occasionally but I’d rather relish alone.

  5. Katie
    16th February 2018 / 7:21 pm

    This really resonates with me and speaks to some struggles I’ve been having recently. It’s helps knowing I’m not the only one and your words have given me the kick in the pants I need to stop trying to make other people happy at the expense of my happiness and mental well being.

  6. Beth
    16th February 2018 / 7:37 pm

    Wow this blog post speaks to me in a way that I never thought a blog post could. I struggle with the exact same thing so much and I have never heard or seen ANYONE else talk about it. I am outgoing, can talk to anyone, not at all shy and enjoy talking to people all day for my job…. but I hate being social. I dread being invited to parties or events, not because I’m shy or don’t know how to socialise, but because I feel like often events like that are so juvenile (that’s not quite the right word). I prefer to spend time with a select few people in smaller numbers, where you can have a longer conversation with the people who fill you up, and add value to your life. I have drifted from a lot of friends over the fact that I won’t go out every weekend to a club or go to parties, Not that they don’t want to be my friend, but they all form a bond and see each other often, and I am more selective about when I attend the events. I think as busy people it’s so important to do the things that make us happy, even if it means we drift from people or are viewed in a certain way, I’m never going to spend my whole weekend going from club to club just to please someone else. I need time to recharch and rest my soul and I occasionally need the few people to sit at my house with me and eat curry and talk for hours 😂 doesn’t mean I’m a recluce, doesn’t mean I’m a lazy slob, doesn’t mean I’m a bitch who thinks she’s too good to hang out with people. Thanks so much for this post Grace. Nice to know atleast one other person views this in the exact same way I do xx.

  7. Maria spain
    16th February 2018 / 10:24 pm

    I totally feel you. Good thing is that now in my 30’s being chilling at home is not seen so “weird”. But yes ,there are a lot of prejudices against this trade of personality?
    Pd: have you ever heard about highly sensitive people?💗

  8. 17th February 2018 / 7:55 am

    I can relate to this SO much, never attend events it literally destroys my brain if I do and I’m always left feeling like what was the point in going to that!! 100% resonate with this post 👌🏼

  9. Jacki
    17th February 2018 / 1:24 pm

    Awww Grace!!!! Completely resonate with EVERYTHING you have said. Thank you for being you 🙂

  10. 17th February 2018 / 3:24 pm

    I can relate soooo much!! Also you look fabulous as always xo

  11. Kate
    18th February 2018 / 12:35 am

    It feels like me actually talking in this post- I can’t be bothered talking crap at weekends when I ve been busy all week I am such an introvert that I don’t even know latest fashions, places to go, bars and clubs etc I much prefer my own little bubble pottering around, having peace and being a home bird

  12. 19th February 2018 / 10:13 am

    This outfit is so out there but you really pull it off! Really great post too, a blogger friend commented on one of my posts recently about how the blogosphere is refreshing because it’s one of the only places where it’s just as “cool” to stay at home drinking tea in bed as it is attending big parties with thousands of famouses. Alice xxx

  13. 23rd February 2018 / 11:36 pm

    I thought this was a beautiful post. I think there a lot of hidden introverts out there who feel like they have to act extroverted in order to get by – and I’m currently working in a corporate job and the extrovert bias is overwhelming. I feel like I need at least ONE day out of the week where I stay at home literally doing nothing in order to recharge.

  14. Lily
    2nd March 2018 / 2:13 pm

    I don’t know what to say… There are others out there like me! I would love advice on how to survive being this way in a professional setting. I have a very good job but really bad rapport with almost everyone I work with because they don’t understand people like us. Its further complicated because I’m a Black girl in a predominantly White working environment it’s become obvious that they assume I keep to myself because of racial difference but nothing could be further from the truth. I sometimes attend church, it’s huge and predominantly Black and guess what? I have the same issues there as well. They see how distant I am and can’t understand why if I were White, they would probably assume it has something to do with that. Anyway, I don’t want to change and become sociable, I’m happiest with my own company, but I do really need advice from anyone on here on how to survive being me in a professional setting.. and what to do if I’m being picked on and witch hunted in this professional setting because they have no experience of my kind of person and therefore assume there’s something more sinister to me.

    Ps. Gracie when you mentioned feeling other peoples auras so deeply and it draining. That’s exactly why I too avoid being around people, IV tried and I have no way of turning off my sensors so IV realised it’s best to avoid others. It’s what I call ‘Emotional Intelligence’ not everyone has it, I can’t really say whether it’s a curse or a blessing! It’s helped prewarn me of people with bad yet it has also made me appear stuck up and unsociable!

    Any wisdom on how to deal with being me will be highly appreciated. Thank you! Xx

  15. Lily
    2nd March 2018 / 2:16 pm

    *bad intentions*

  16. 2nd March 2018 / 6:59 pm

    I really resonate with this post. I love seeing friends and going to events (I’m a copywriter and blogger) but I’ve never been a party animal and I do have my introverted moments – I’d hate to go on a night out and I’d rather spend my Friday evenings eating fish and chips and watching Corrie. When I was at university I was often pressured into clubbing and partying and I’d force myself to go clubbing with people I didn’t feel a connection with in order to appease them.

    Now I just don’t care anymore. I am not willing to do things that I don’t like and I’d rather spend my life doing more of what makes me happy. Plus, I really like your approach when it comes to spending time with people. Over time, I’ve learned to be a lot more selective about the people I’m surrounding myself with. I’ve been exposed to trauma as well and I no longer want to be surrounded by toxic people who make it their mission to hurt me and make my life a misery. I spend my time with people who bring joy to my life, and I spend the rest of the time on my own.


  17. 7th March 2018 / 2:40 pm

    You look so incredible in this pictures, oh my word?! 😍 I would consider myself an introvert, and more ofthen than not, I get called weird for not enjoying clubbing or going out drinking, but I would much rather spend some time at home, get some food, listen to some music, do anything that doesn’t involve an over-filled club with too many sweaty people.. 😂🤷🏼‍♀️ It’s okay to be a confident introvert – it’s most definitely a thing, but it’s also a struggle at times!

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