So its Feb already? HOW? HOW? I don’t understand lol. (panic is now setting in that I’ve not done half the stuff I planned to do in January. Shit)
I started the year optimistic, inspired & motivated, but since returning from Mexico, I just can’t get my head in the game. I sit down to write and nothing comes out. I attempt to film a video and it doesn’t go to plan, but instead of forcing it, I’m just going with it. Thats the main reason there hasn’t been much content posted in the last few months – I simply don’t have the mental space to hit publish. However, although my blog has fallen by the way side, I am being super productive elsewhere. Im writing a book (still can’t believe it) and I’m working on lots of other bits and bobs that nobody sees on social media so its fine.
Its all going to be fine.
With that being said, its Monday, the start of a new week and I was out of bed before 9am so yay me. (An achievement within itself because I’m so tired at the moment sleeping in until 11am is legit feasible). My cleaner is here (soz Mum) and Jeremy Kyle is on in the background which is helping me realise that my life isn’t that bad AT ALL lol. Incense is burning and an ice cold glass of water with my favourite straw is next to me.
Lets do this. Lets talk about life lessons..
I’ve heard from my older, wiser friends that when you hit yours 30s, things calm down. You stop being so insecure, you can drink large amounts of wine and people don’t judge you (well, they might) AND, you stop changing – you accept who you are and you sort of, find yourself.
When its put like that, turning 30 doesn’t seem so bad.
But there are life lessons and things you learn that only really happen in yours 20s. I think your 20s are definitely the hardest years because none of us really know what we’re doing and figuring out pretty much every aspect of ourselves and our lives can be draining.
So I hope this list gives you solidarity and a belly full of laughs.
1. Love Fucking Hurts
Most of us have fallen in love AND out of it by our late 20s and you know what? It fucking sucks. It doesn’t get easier and heartbreak is something I wouldn’t wish on my mortal enemy. Although it takes less time to put down the cake and turn off Toni Braxton – Unbreak My Heart, even as a fully fledged adult, the pain is unbearable.
2. Blow Jobs Are Effort
They are! You can be head over heels in love and enjoy sex more than a porn star but lets keep it real lol, going down on your man is the last thing you wanna do when you’re tired from work. Face planting your bed and going to sleep usually seems much more appealing.
3. Some Friends Are Only For Seasons
Friends come and go and as much as we all want a group of amazing, supportive, wonderful, charasmatic women around us – that doesn’t always happen. Some people only have 3 or 4 real friends and thats okay. Its better to have a small amount of incredible friends in your life, than a large amount of friends who only ever speak to you to offload their problems or to get drunk in Oceana. Quality of quantity!
4. Its Hard To Save Money
Don’t I fucking know it! Its easy to spend £100 on takeaways, £100 on ubers & £100 on ASOS each month because stress, laziness and ‘omg I need those ripped jeans, and that cosy hoodie and even those gold earrings, even though I’ve got 50 pairs just like it’. The price of living also goes up, but your wage remains the same, so as much as you want to buy a house at 27 with a David Beckham lookalike and a cute dog called Spike – you can’t. (well maybe you can and if thats you then please teach us all how).
5. You Keep Fucking Up
You spoke to your bestie like shit. You missed your doctors appointment for the 10th time. You can’t get your winged liner right AND you forgot your Mum’s birthday. Its okay, it will always be okay. Apologise, learn from your mistakes and work on yourself so that you can learn how to get your shit together.
6. Buying Jeans Is Soul Destroying
Nothing ever fits right and even though you’re a size 16 in one shop, I can garauntee that you won’t be a size 16 in the next.
7. Stress Is Actually A Real Thing
Who knew? Stress can actually cause sleepless nights, extreme weight gain/weight loss, skin breakouts and an urge to hide from the world, under a duvet with a large bar of Cadburys chocolate.
8. Everyone Pee’s In The Shower
Its not just you with that disgusting habit lol!
9. Life Is Too Short, Not To Wear The Bikini
All your life society has made you feel like you have to cover up, you have to hide your body because its not perfect. Society was right – its probably not perfect, but nobody’s is & no matter what size you are, you are beautiful and worthy of wearing whatever you want. There is no wrong way to be a woman and wearing a bikini is the only way to get a banging tan (that & being naked).
10. Beyonce Is Still The Best
Nothing has changed from being 12 years old and listening to Destiny’s Child. NOTHING. She is still the shit.
11. Hiring A Cleaner Is So Much YAS
No matter how hard you try, you can neve clean like your Mum and its really embarassing to admit that so what do you do? Hire someone who can. Nobody will ever know. Ha!
12. Cereal For Dinner Is Underrated
Seriously. When you can’t be bothered to cook OR you’ve got nothing but milk, mouldy cheese and half an onion in your frigdge, cereal is your safe bet.
13. Travelling Is Good For The Soul
So its better to spend your money on doing things than having things. The world is meant to be explored, & I can gaurantee you’ve seen every corner of the Topshop website.
14. Cooking Is Boring AF
Snoooorreeeeeeeeee. If I could live on McDonalds I would lol.
15. Porn Is Abit Weird
It is! The orgasms are fake, the men dress really old school (oversized trousers and shirts just aren’t a thing anymore) and then theres fetishes that make you feel a little uncomfortable. Men dressed as babies? NOT OKAY!
16. Online Banking Is Life Giving
Moving money, checking your dreaded balance and paying bills from the comfort of your own sofa is just amazing.
17. It Doesn’t Have To Be Flattering
There is a misconception that whatever you wear, it has to be flattering. IM CURVY AND I DONT LIKE BODYCON DRESSES – I’m just saying. You don’t need to wear spanx to suck in your fat & you can wear long dresses if you’re short!
18. Talking About Someone Behind Their Back, Makes You Feel Like Shit
We’ve all done it babes.
19. Spa Days Are Neccessary
Walking around in a white robe, sipping tea & indulging in a full body massage is one of the best ways to relax and de-stress. Theres also always deal on Groupon & Lastminute!
20. School Didn’t Teach You Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit
Tax? Black history? (real black history, not the bullshit thats been twisted by white men in suits) Self care? How to love yourself? How to save for a house? WTFFFF.
21. Health Is The Most Important Thing
Especially your mental health. Health comes before boys, careers & everything else. It is detrimental to your happiness.
22. Your Mum Was Right – M&S do do the best knickers
Cotton, black and high leg if you’re wandering 😉 lol!
23. Policitics Give You Brain Ache
Especially now that a misygonistic, orange faced, racism, bigot PRICK has just become one of the most powerful people in the entire world.
24. You Will Never NOT Have A To-do List
We will all die with ‘buy washing up liquid’ & ‘sort through wardrobes’ scribbled in out notepads. So don’t fret that you constantly have shit to do. You’re not alone.
25. Just Be Yourself
Which is so hard, in a world that judges every ounce of who you are. But just being yourself is more than most people do. You’re doing great!