16 THOUGHTS A GIRL HAS WHEN SHE FANNY FARTS

Okay. So fanny farts?!?! We’ve all probably done them (numerous times might I add) yet it’s still a subject most of us shy away from. I’ll also be the first to admit that I secretly still wince when I think about all those embarrassing teen sex moments. (And there’s plenty – trust me) Shudder!

Now I’m 25 (26 next month but I don’t look a day past 15) I sort of pretty much talk about everything. I guess I’m sexually liberated and wish there were more people like me now, for younger me to look up to.

Sex happens every second of everyday, it’s natural, it’s normal and I 100% think we should all talk about it more, especially covering the more embarrassing, but equally hilarious sex topics. Eg; fanny farting, friction burn & the awkward wobble to the toilet to pee because ain’t nobody got time for cystitis.

When you’re bent over or sat on top, you’re in missionary or your legs are behind your head (I’m flexible I can do this babes), there are so many thoughts whizzing through your brain. Do I look hot? That feels good. I wish I had a wax. However, when that squelch sound starts and you realise you’re legit FARTING, the thoughts escalate. Am I right or am I right?

1. Wait. Pause. Rewind.. Did I just fanny fart?!?

2. Hmm. I’m not sure what hole that came out of.

3. Okay. That was definitely an actual fart. I’m not sure what’s more embarrassing.

4. Kill me. Kill me right now.

5. Did he hear that? Did he feel that?

6. He definitely heard that & probably felt it too.

7. I am SO embarrassed.

8. LOL! LOL! LOL!

9. I don’t understand why this keeps happening.

10. Gross

11. What the fucking fuck

12. *runs to the toilet to escape dying of embarrassment & the farts continue* The ground needs to swallow me up and never ever spit me back out.

13. I’m not having sex anymore.

14. Okay stop being dramatic and just get over it you pussy.

15. At least it doesn’t smell… I don’t think.

16. If it puts him off I don’t care because it’s just a fucking fanny fart and it could be worse. I mean, I could’ve pissed myself.

Ladies. Fanny farting is completely normal and we’ve all and will all do it. Laugh when it happens & keep it moving. If your sexual partner is a true man he won’t care.. And if he does care, then he shouldn’t even be in your vagina. See ya later fuck boy.

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19 Comments

  1. 4th August 2016 / 8:29 pm

    Hahahahaha love this Grace, I wish I could just chill with you as I know our personalities are pretty much exact (London girls)Candid as ever xx

  2. 4th August 2016 / 9:26 pm

    Oh my god this is all so accurate ahahaha. It's most horrific when you stop having sex, start to walk and moving about just makes them keep coming! I wish I had read this as a teen – it would have made me feel so much better.

    Steph – http://www.nourishmeblog.co.uk

  3. 5th August 2016 / 5:08 pm

    I was in a taxi home from an exs and literally every time I moved, I fanny farted.. Praying that the driver didn't hear ������

  4. 5th August 2016 / 7:15 pm

    Lmao I'm so glad you wrote this!! Why will no one talk about this?! I seem to get it after sex mostly, and it just keeps going xD ahaha

    Amber Love Blog

  5. 5th August 2016 / 9:31 pm

    I am laughing so hard…I'm crying! This truly made my day. And I just laugh when I fanny fart ��������

  6. 8th August 2016 / 6:13 pm

    hi does anybody maybe know how the song out of the bbc food clean eatings dirty secrets documentary is from in the scene when grazie francesca throws away all the junk food? I would love to find that song thanks

  7. 26th August 2016 / 12:38 pm

    I love this SO much paahahahaha

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