In no particular order..
Its literally like weeing hot lava. That last little squeeze is the absolute worst.
Leaking Your Period
This happened to me when I was 13, in the middle of Camden, I wanted to die right there and then. Its a ball ache, its slightly embarrassing (even though it shouldn’t be) and it means WASHING YOUR FAVOURITE PAIR OF JEANS. Effort!
Fanny Farting During Sex
Don’t act like this hasn’t happened to you before. The first time is the worst though, the older you get the more funnier it becomes. Men are surprisingly used to it but still… theres always that moment where you question if that fanny fart was in fact an actual one. *the horror*
You Swipe Right & He Swipes Left
Oh ffs he was so hot and could’ve been the one and now I will never know. Im hot, he’s clearly blind. Pass me the chocolate. Pass me the wine. Whatever – he probably had a small willy anyway.
Getting Makeup On That White Top In Topshop
We’ve all done it.
Squeezing Your Ass In Jeans After Christmas (all the time)
Nothing is more stressful than jumping up and down trying to get those jeans over those hips. The sweat, the huffs, the screams.
Needing A Poo In Public Toilets
And you can’t hold in because then you feel bloated and can’t stop farting. The smell of public loos, the 50p toilet roll that feels like sand paper on your ass and the fear of someone hearing ‘plop plop’. Im not okay with any of it.
Making Decisions About What To Eat
The pressure is too much. Pizza or pasta. Cheesecake or brownies. Who knows. Maybe i’ll have them both? It doesn’t help when your boyfriend is shouting at you because you’re taking too long. Dickhead!!!!
Receiving A Text From Your Ex (just no)
Oh now you miss me huh? Don’t try and come back into my life to ruin it when I’ve just gotten over you and started to love myself again. CAN YOU NOT. Btw, I don’t like your new girlfriend. Her brows are shit!
Walking Barefoot After A Night Out (you had no other choice right)
Ever opted for the worlds most uncomfortable shoes because they look so killer with your outfit? Yeaaaah me too. Having to take off your shoots and stumble down your path is both embarrassing and disgusting in equal measures, but so is looking like Bambi on ice so WE HAD NO CHOICE.
Getting A Wax
Looking like a plucked chicken for the sake of smooth skin and feeling like a million damn dollars.
I don’t really have to explain much here because I know you’re all sat reading this like ‘PREACH’, but sometimes.. Men just do my f***ing head in!
This post is intended to be lighthearted and silly. Take it with a pinch of salt. I hope you can relate and it made you laugh lol.