EMOTIONAL EATING & ME


Emotional eater? You are not alone.

I've wanted to talk about emotional eating for a while but I haven't been able to find the words. I guess I'm just gonna start with me & my problems and then just let it unravel from there haha.

So when I'm happy I eat, when I'm sad I eat, I eat for whatever mood I am in and I'll be the first to admit, that sometimes it can get out of control. If I'm celebrating, I'm celebrating over food & if I'm stressed, I'm stressing out with half a burger in my gob. Do you see where I'm going? I know I'm not entirely alone on this but I guess being an emotional eater is something that many people don't or won't talk about. I get it! Its kinda weird and its kinda embarrassing but its really important to me to talk about difficult subjects, especially if its going to help someone.

I've had issues with food for as long as I can remember but since growing up and becoming more aware of what I 'should' be eating, my issues have become worse. In 2014 I started seeing a specialist about my problems but unfortunately my sessions fizzled out as I couldn't keep up with the appointments due to working ridiculous hours as a carer. Ive been to Weight Watches, Slimming World & tried other ways to focus on food, but none of them have worked because their focus is on 'losing weight' & not the underlying issue.

Im 4 years old and I've just fallen over in the back garden. I run to my mum with a grazed knee and she says 'have a biscuit, it will make you feel better'. Food has always been something that is used to cheer you up and if its your birthday, you're allowed to eat an entire cake without feeling guilty right? When the love of your life has broken up with you, its perfectly acceptable to eat an entire tub of ice cream followed by an entire jar of Nutella. You've won that award too so its time to go and celebrate with antipasti, pizza and an entire bottle of wine. The problem is, for some of us, for me, this is a huge struggle and something that I mentally cannot process. I will find something to celebrate so I can reward myself with food and I will tell myself its okay to eat an entire packet of custard creams because I haven't been paid yet and its stressing me out... & then comes the guilt.

'Normal' people know when to stop but people who have issues with food and who are emotional eaters simply don't. We stop when we feel sick, when we physically can't eat anymore and when we are suddenly overcome with despair and guilt. Food just isn't food to me, its everything. I plan my days around food, I literally could piss my pants over the thought of going out to eat and to keep myself going during the week, I think about ordering a Chinese on the weekend. (I can't be the only one, please don't tell me I'm the only one) The Angel on my shoulder tells me to put the cookie down, it won't make me feel better in the long run and Grace you're not a dog so stop rewarding yourself with food you bloody idiot. The Devil on my other shoulder tells me to keep on eating because life is too short and that cookie will be a complete waste of money if its not eaten, oh and eat that cake too.

Having issues with food changes on a daily basis. Sometimes I can wake up and have a really good day, I eat healthy, I drink my water and I don't think too much into it. Other days I wake up and head straight to the biscuit tin and I sit on my sofa planning everything I'm going to eat that day. I know its not normal but its normal to me and this is my reality. I know that some parts of this post are probably funny and maybe a little light hearted but the reality for me also is that, being like this is somewhat draining. I sometimes get really upset because I've eaten half a chocolate bar on a day I'm really trying to be in control and I am flooded with frustration and a feeling of 'I AM A DISGUSTING FAILURE'. There are days I wish I didn't have to eat and those are the days I find most difficult. Food is a drug, its an addiction but you can't go cold turkey like you would with heroin or cocaine - food is the one thing that can keep us alive but can kill us at the same time.

Theres increasing awareness around anorexia, bulimia and most recently binge eating disorder but I still feel there isn't enough people talking about emotional eating or 'disordered eating' that doesn't fall into an actual eating disorder (I hope that makes sense). I guess all of us have struggled with food at some point in our lives but for some us, it happens more often than not. Every year around this time I enter a quiet sense of panic knowing that Christmas is around the corner and I am overwhelmed with toxic thoughts about food. It just sucks!! Ive been told before that I replace people with food. When I'm sad I should call a friend but instead I find solace in a packet of crisps.. I know what I'm doing is wrong but trying to change it seems impossible.

Shall I do a 'tips' post on dealing with emotional eating? Im not a professional but if you guys would like some advice, let me know.


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19 comments

  1. sometimes we all need a bit of comfort x

    http://wiltedxfaded.blogspot.co.uk/

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    Replies
    1. I was really missing my wife when she left me for someone else. I was weak to take care of some situations and i let her slip my arms. I had to talk to my partner at the office who recently got her husband back. She told me to get in touch with John Patience who helped her get her husband back with a love spell. I was very sure of this because John has helped my partner get her husband back. So i called John Patience and told him i lost my lover and wanted her back. He encouraged me and told me to be happy. He did his thing and told me my wife will be back in 45 hours. I waited for that time and my wife called me and told me that she has forgiven me and ready to take me back in her life. Since then, my wife and i have been enjoying our marriage with our lovely 4 kids. I am very grateful to John for what he has done for me. I'd advice you to ask him for help if you have any problem on your relationship and some other aspects of life.His email is blessings434@gmail.com :)

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  2. Such a honest point of view about emotional eating. I really relate to that, many times I hide my emotions behind food instead of open up with my friends but I am changing that. Thanks for you honesty, as always :)
    X

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  3. Sometimes I take comfort in food too, so you arent alone. This post is so honest and I bet it feels better to open up about it.
    Pam xo/ Pam Scalfi♥

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  4. A very honest post and I understand really well what you wrote because I'm such similar to you!
    I take comfort in food very often..and I eat also when I'm happy!

    XOXO

    Cami

    Paillettes&Champagne

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  5. Totally relate to everything in this post. I find distraction helps on the bad days- calling someone, listening to an audiobook, meditation- just doing something until you forget about it. The hardest part is rewarding yourself with just the positive feelings you experience on a good day- that's how I'm trying to break the cycle the, inevitably, puts me in a bad mood so I'm back to square one.

    I love how honest/blunt you've been in this post. It's a subject that needs more awareness & I have so much admiration for you for bringing some light to it.

    Xxxx

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  6. This is me!
    Such an amazing post Grace - thank you for always being so brave to talk about the topics others don't feel strong enough to talk about.
    Much love

    Freya x

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  7. Yes please do another post ,it'd be great! Thanks Grace x

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  8. I love this honest post, I can also identify about planning my life around food.

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  9. I absolutely loved this post! It was light-hearted, but serious and that's what I loved about it. I agree, the majority of us have had some sort of eating problem in our life-time and although it is scary and embarrassing to talk about, most people do experience the same thing. Also, I totally get what you mean about the disordered eating thing and I agree that it should be spoken about more. Eating disorders have very definitive signs, and I feel that a lot of people suffer with an ED that is not actually defined - I guess that's known as EDNOS. I think this post has the potential to help many people!

    Chloe
    www.beautyandthegirl.co.uk

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  10. You are most definitely not alone in this and I understand completely where you're coming from.
    The problem is in the western world we are bombarded with images and adverts for food and restaurants 24/7 which tempt us to eat the wrong things, and in addition to that WE HAVE TO EAT EVERY DAY! 3 (4, 5) TIMES A DAY!
    So we have to deal with temptations and try to make the right choices numerous times a day whilst battling life's other daily struggles.
    People are more empathetic towards people who are dependant on drugs or alcohol (which is fine) but they may not necessarily have those urges numerous times a day, but everyone has to try and resist temptation for junk food when they feel hunger. It is incredibly difficult!
    And there are plenty of slim people who eat a lot of junk however because they are slim no one judges them for it or expects them to change. We seem to live in a society where fat-phobia is acceptable.
    Thank you for this post because it helps me to know that other people feel the same way I do where food is concerned, and I just wanted to share my theory with you so you're not too hard on yourself!

    - Quel Paris
    www.minduplivin.wordpress.com

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  11. Emotional eater over here! I never wanted to actually acknowledge it or even put a name to it but boy oh boy... Food is used as a reward for pretty much any and evertyhing and I truly eat for any and every emotional state I am in. I do think about my meals in advance (not in that healthy meal planning mindset) and it does feel "abnormal" as you end being "obsessed" with food. We all know any obsession is dangerous!
    I've known for a long time that there are underlying issues to this "eating disorder" but haven't had the courage to take on therapy It also does not help that I live in a country where we don't believe in therapy or mental illness for that matter. Anyway... thanks for a great post and for opening up to your readers!
    We shall conquer this one day!
    S.N: I plan on going abroad [again] for work and do intend on getting help (therapy) eventually :)

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  12. Hi Grace

    I TOTALLY relate to this post. Id love to read a 'tips' section - I think that would be really good :)

    http://rialillian.blogspot.co.uk/

    x

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  14. This is me down to a t and I'm pretty sure there's many of us out there. I went up to 12.7 after my first son and I wasn't that straight after I had post natal depression and ate myself a stone and half bigger so I joined slimming world getting down to 10st over the years I then gained a good 2 stone of that back got pregnant again and after my second son went up to 13st 2.5lb I went back to slimming world I am now 9.13. I must say I feel slimming world isn't really a diet more of a change of how I think and a reasonable variety of foods. I for as long as I remember have always had an issue with food, it is the first thing I think of when I wake and the last thing I think of before I go to bed (most days) I totally feel what you're saying about it being so draining it very much is so.. And I too feel there needs to be some sort of help regarding people who associate emotion with food. If I'm stressed sad Happy anxious all of those I want to eat and use food as a reward. Things have been a lot better since Iv been back on slimming world. I use to binge to a ridiculous degree and then get the awful sickly feeling in my stomach through guilt... I never felt full up. I do think a lot of it must be to do with loving yourself and finding some self esteem but we all have our off days Gracie and u are defo an inspiration. I'm glad to see and hear that I'm not alone everything you wrote was 100% real, and I thank you for that ! Xxxx

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  15. Hi everyone, I'm testify how i Got my Husband back after a Divorce !!!
    I'm Tiffany Wilson From California, after Five years of marriage,
    My Husband divorces me off no reason, I cried all through and try all the possible best I could to make everything work out for good and to get him back but to no avail, I was confused and frustrated until I crossed a site of Dr Frank Ojo, I read everything completely on the site, it was talking about Love spells and reunion marriage spells and different types of spells, I was more confused on what to do because I don’t believe on spell casters mostly on Love spells, though I decided to give a try out, I contacted Dr Frank Ojo and explained everything completely to him on what I am passing through to my own greatest surprise, Dr Frank Ojo told me that my husband is going to call me back to come home after two days he has finished casted the spell. I have believed on him and so surprising really my husband calls me back home and ask for forgiveness and he promised to Love me only and forever be with me only. All great thanks to Dr Frank Ojo for his marvelous spell work, contact him today by his Email: Templeofloveandprosperity@gmail.com ,website info: http://lovespell2.yolasite.com , If you have any problem contact him, I give you 100% guarantee that he will help you, Thanks to Dr Frank Ojo.

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  16. Gracie, this post really touched me. Recovering from anorexia myself, I understand the whole stress / guilt / uncertainty / issues linked to food situation. The cycle of restless sleep, hunger, tiredness, fear, anxiety. As you said, with awareness about eating disorders being more and more prominent, I also think it's important to notice the issue of people who aren't diagnosed with an eating disorder as such, but who have a disordered approach to food. But it's such a broad subject - when does a juice cleanse become disordered? When does counting calories become disordered? If they're displayed, isn't that obviously because they should be counted? It's such a mind-twisting subject, one that's at the center of our society but that a lot of people seem to turn their backs on. Hope your day is going well and full of self-love xxx

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  17. I was really missing my wife when she left me for someone else. I was weak to take care of some situations and i let her slip my arms. I had to talk to my partner at the office who recently got her husband back. She told me to get in touch with John Patience who helped her get her husband back with a love spell. I was very sure of this because John has helped my partner get her husband back. So i called John Patience and told him i lost my lover and wanted her back. He encouraged me and told me to be happy. He did his thing and told me my wife will be back in 45 hours. I waited for that time and my wife called me and told me that she has forgiven me and ready to take me back in her life. Since then, my wife and i have been enjoying our marriage with our lovely 4 kids. I am very grateful to John for what he has done for me. I'd advice you to ask him for help if you have any problem on your relationship and some other aspects of life.His email is blessings434@gmail.com :)

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow it's seriously like you are writing out my thoughts...

    ReplyDelete

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