Over the years I have tried many different ways to learn how to love me, flaws & all. Ive been to therapy, read self help books, spoken to friends and watched numerous inspirational speakers. So I thought it was about time to voice my own tips on how to love yourself..
Loving yourself and being confident and content with who you are is a long journey with many ups and downs. So many of my followers are teenagers and probably haven’t even started that journey yet, I know I hadn’t at that age. I’ve wasted far too much of my life picking at every little flaw I had, hating my body and wishing I were someone else. Over the last 6 months however I have gained so much knowledge and wisdom and I wanted to let you in on my best kept secrets. We all have our down days of course, even me. You can read about a hard time I was having here if you’d like. But I think its important to recognise how far you’ve come and to appreciate the effort you put in because loving yourself is one of the greatest things you could ever do.
Stop comparing yourself to others.
This is one of the best pieces of advice I can give to anyone. Its a lot harder than it seems at first, but once you’ve mastered it, its the best feeling. As girls & as humans, we often compare everything we are and everything we do to everyone else around us. From our accomplishments to our bodies, to our goals to our dreams, we f***ing compare everything. Please remember that every single person on this earth is different and we aren’t meant to be the same. Just because she looks good, doesn’t mean that you don’t look good either. Imagine if you took the energy you use to compare yourself, and put that into loving yourself what the outcome could be? You can waste days, months & even years wanting to be someone else & comparing what you are to what she is but you will never be her & she will never be you. Its time to face the music and start realising YOUR potential.
If you don’t like what you see, get a better mirror.
Its become normal to believe our self worth is determined by what we see in the mirror. What size jeans we wear, if our tummies are flat. Are our faces flawless? How can we hide those stretch marks? We as humans, as souls, are so much more than that. Try to see yourself as something deeper than what the mirror can show you. It doesn’t show you how happy you make others feel. It doesn’t show you how loving you are. It doesn’t show you any of the things that actually matter. Choose at least one thing that can be your mirror, that isn’t actually a mirror. Write down all the things you love about yourself and all the things people love about you. Mirrors do not and will not ever show you, just how beautiful you really are.
Focus on all the positives about yourself.
I think its fair to say we are all probably a little too hard on ourselves. If we didn’t lose 2 pounds this week, we didn’t get that job interview, you failed your driving test, then suddenly that makes us worthless and stupid. None of that is true. Now, in order to grow we must work on our flaws and those little negatives we all have, but my philosophy is.. ‘If you constantly work on the positives, the negatives will decrease anyway’. Channel all your energy, thoughts and feelings into positives and you will become a happier person. Its so much easier to be sad, to be angry and to feel deflated but a shift in our thinking is a shift in our entire lives. The minute a negative thought enters your mind, immediately think of a positive & as time goes on you will begin to think more positively. I tell myself every single day that one day I will become a millionaire LOL & in my heart, I believe that will truly happen. Thoughts become things.. Remember that!
Make time to do things that make you happy & that make you feel good.
From the smallest things like painting your nails, to bigger things like travelling the world. MAKE IT HAPPEN. MAKE TIME FOR IT. I know its a cliche and I say this all the time but life is too short, you have no idea whats going to happen tomorrow so do what makes you happy right now & live for today. Of course make plans (we need goals) but if you want to travel South America, what the hell is stopping you? Start heading towards that from right now. If you love makeup, slap that shit on your face everyday babes. If it makes you happy do it! If running around naked in your garden makes you feel good, do it! We spend far too much time doing things we don’t enjoy which can make us feel terribly unhappy. Life is about enjoyment, fun & taking risks. DO IT. What the f**k are you waiting for?
Surround yourself with positive people.
This is something I found the hardest. When you’re attached to people, or in relationships with people you know aren’t good for you, it can be SO hard to let them go. Friends, boyfriends, whatever. All my life I have somehow fell into toxic relationships, a few have even happened recently. Its important to recognise when someone isn’t good for you and when they don’t have the best intentions for you. See it, see them and cut it off. I’ve had ‘friends’ talk about me behind my back, start rumours about me, some have even stolen from me but in my head I think ‘its cool’. All that bullshit is to make me stronger, to teach me & to enable me to grow. Don’t even sweat it babes. If someone is in your life who you don’t trust, who you know isn’t good for you, you know they are secretly wishing you to fail, please don’t feel guilty in letting them go. You don’t need to explain yourself and you don’t need a dramatic exit. Unfollow, delete, block and move on. Simple. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good. Who uplift you, inspire you and make you want to be a better person for you. Keep your circle tight but keep it filled with positivity, trust and most importantly love.
I know some of you are probably thinking ‘F**k off Grace, this is all so much easier said than done. You’re fine because everything is sorted for you’.. Well my reply is ‘I was once depressed, lonely & wanting the world to just end. I couldn’t see any positives, I hated who I was and I had no give or drive to do anything. If I can change my life around, if I can go from self harming to bikini selfies, then so can you!’ The time is now, tomorrow isn’t promised so start today. I’ll hold your hand if I have too & I’ll be there every step of the way. We are all in this together. Its time to start loving yourself.