Lets be honest, none of us like criticism. Whether it be homework, the way we dress or learning to drive. Criticism can sometimes be disheartening and down right rude, but it can also be fantastic for character building and growth.
I struggle a lot with criticism, even from my loved ones. Im stubborn and have far too much pride at times. I also struggle with differing between being given criticism that could be good for me and criticism that is coming from a bad place.
Im slowly learning to deal with comments and feedback that isn't necessarily completely on my side & I thought I would share with you some of my tips that could work for you too.
Decide whether the criticism is deconstructive or constructive.
Now, some criticism is bloody good for us. My mum will tell me when my attitude stinks and my sister will tell me when to stop eating that entire cake - because she knows how much I'll regret it in the morning. Thats what we call CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Don't get defensive and start f'ing this and f'ing that, grow up and remember these comments are just to help you. However, there is also something called DECONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Ever had someone you barely know pick at your character? What about someone at school walking past you and saying 'I really don't like your hair, its ugly'. Remarks like these are not ok and are not with your best interest. Keep those people at arms length and don't be afraid to let them know that saying stuff like that just isn't cool.
Don't take it personally.
From constructive criticism we can all find something to learn. Nobody is perfect and just because our flaws may be pointed out to us, it doesn't mean we are less of a person. For unfair criticism, try not to take it personally. I often get told things like 'Your boobs are saggy' 'You're so fat' & 'I really don't like those jeans you're wearing'. Comments like that aren't even worth getting upset over and why? Those remarks say more about the person saying them, than the person receiving them. Its like water of a ducks back babes.
Remember not everyone will like you. Whats important is, if YOU like YOU.
If someone called me fat or ugly, I really started to believe them and it made me question myself. If someone just didn't like me, for whatever reason, it would play on my mind & again, I would question my character. Not everyone will like you and thats fine because lets face it, we don't like everyone either. But do not let the opinions of others affect how you see yourself. Its their business, not yours.
Listen, go away & think, then react.
Any form of criticism doesn't require a reaction straight away. The first thought for me is 'who the f**k are you speaking to'? My guard is instantly up & I'm ready to defend myself but sometimes we just need to take some time out. Listen to what is being said (facts or not) remove yourself from the situation, think & then go back in with your comments, points or argument. Don't be afraid to nip to the toilet or make a cuppa so you can think about what you want to say. We all say stupid things out of anger don't we? But its time to be an adult and in some cases, professional too.
Have confidence and continue to believe in yourself.
You know you're badass, you know you're a good person and you love yourself unconditionally right? So no matter what people say about you, just stay true to you. Have confidence with everything you
are doing and plan to do and believe in yourself. You have one life - make it f**king count.
TIP: Do not be fooled by people who are telling you that their criticism is constructive when its really BS. You'll feel it in your gut - listen to that gut.
TIP: Learning how to deal with criticism takes time. Its not just going to happen over night. Keep at it though and don't be too hard on yourself. Remember these tips and you'll get there.
I also asked for the publics opinion on dealing with criticism and by public I mean my followers on Twitter & Instagram lol. Here are there comments, advice and opinions..
Megan_Godwin "You take it on board but don't let it change who you are completely. Let it shape you into making wiser choices in life".
MicalsTheBest "The opinions of others aren't facts. If you like what you're doing, thats just as valid, if not more so as those who don't."
_heyimsteph "I take criticism as a learning opportunity to how other people might see me. If its negative & I don't see myself that way then its DIRT OF MY SHOULDERS. TOO BLESSED TO BE STRESSED."
Laviniapanuve "I take it as a good thing, its the only way I'm going to learn. I just remind myself that I am worth it & words that are negative don't mean jack."
Sheisdeja "If it doesn't come from a good heart then its better to ignore it. If you find yourself bummed out by it, find a mirror and say only good things to yourself".
adriana_irina "Ignore it".
rachelteasdill "If they don't know you personally, don't take it personally".
sophclxrk "Prove them wrong".
beyondgande "I personally only take criticism seriously if its coming from someone who really cares about me and wants me to succeed".
kmbailz "You should welcome constructive criticism, but you are also entitled to ignore it".
I wish I could have featured all of the comments and tweets I received but there were over 100.
I really hope this post helps some of you :) please leave your tips and opinions down below too as I would love to hear your thoughts. Shall I do more posts like this? Let me know. Have a great day, evening and life!