I've been through a lot. People have hurt me.. Family members, friends, whoever & I tend to hold grudges. If someone effs me over once, I make sure they don't eff me over again. I think its my defence mechanism. I've put up with so much bullshit throughout my life that I think I now have a low tolerance for it. I don't see the point of giving people second chances & I cut people off very easily. I've been this way since coming out of treatment and I think its extremely healthy to love yourself enough to not allow people to hurt you, however.. Pushing everyone away leads to loneliness and that's one lesson I continue to learn. I hate hate hate forgiving people - it sort of makes me feel weak? As if I've been defeated and as if that person has the upper hand. I know its stupid. I must have too much pride or something. I refuse to talk to certain family members due to things that happened ten years ago & I refuse to talk to people who used to pick on me at school.. Even though I left school in 2006. You get the picture right?
I've seen this quote before but over the past few weeks it keeps popping up everywhere. Twitter, Instagram, Facebook - you name it. I think its a sign to let things go. I hold on to a lot & it probably does me more harm than good. I think I have a giant grey cloud following me around everywhere.. but its now time for some sunshine.
Take this week to forgive people who have hurt you - you don't need the baggage girl.