So a month or so back I saw Megan's post called 'Project Bare All' and when it first went live I was sat on a beach drinking a smoothie. Due to poor wifi I couldn't read the post until a few weeks later, but the title alone caught my attention.
I hid myself away from the world for such a long time and it was my mission a few years ago to learn to love myself, even at my worst. I am extremely comfortable wearing zero makeup - so much so that I spend more time bare faced than I do wearing it. I haven't always been this way though.
Here's my story..
Here's my story..
(no makeup selfie)
Growing up I was a bit of tomboy. Dancing was my thing so tracksuits and trainers were my everyday attire and that was me. I never really thought about makeup, but I also didn't have any people around me who were really into it. My mum was and still is a tomboy - I think her makeup bag consists of mascara, bronzer and an eye cream. She's pretty simple in that sense. I was always very conscious of how I looked body wise, but I have never felt too insecure about my face. That was until year 9 happened & everything changed.
13 years old, bored in Maths class (I used to misbehave a tad) and out comes the makeup. My friends at the time were in the popular crowd (they decided to become my friend after hating me and calling me names in year 7 & 8, I guess I kinda went with it). They were all into makeup & boys etc etc.. The complete opposite to me. They were all re-applying their makeup, adding a few touch ups here and there when I was asked if I wanted my makeup done. Im laughing as I write this because I remember it like it was yesterday. Natalie pulled out this Bourjois eyeshadow which became my favourite for many years to come and this Loreal mascara. I stared into her little mirror and thought 'so this is what wearing makeup feels like'. I wasn't that impressed and I didn't feel like I looked any different, I just remember thinking my eyes looked brighter and sparklier.. That is where it began.
As the months and years went on my small makeup bag grew and grew and I mostly dabbled in different mascara's and bronzers. Looking back I had absolutely no idea what I was buying, what it was supposed to do and how to apply it, but I liked the idea of getting ready in the mornings haha, a bit like I do now. I hated wearing foundation, but teenage skin can only mean one thing - spots. I tried my best to cover them up but nothing seemed to work. What I didn't realise was that the cheap foundations I was wearing, was more than likely the reason for my spots in the first place. Other than hormones and being a teenager of course. Behind the obvious reasons for wearing makeup, I also began to use it as a mask. I had so many issues going on that people didn't know about that getting up in the morning and putting on a pretence, was sort of my routine. So thats what I did. I wore a smile and I put on my lipstick and I lied to everyone - even myself.
When I was 17, my spots were verging on acne. They were so sore and red and my skin felt so irritated ALL the time. I decided to stop wearing makeup in the house so with that & a few skin peels here and there, my skin finally began to clear up. It was back to my favourite eyeshadow and mascara, but I was still living one big lie. If you didn't know, 12 years ago I developed an eating disorder and I started self harming. I was picked on in school, I had family problems and I was painfully unhappy. I guess it was easier for me to take it out on myself than it was asking for help and speaking up. Luckily for me I found strength, but it was many years later.
I don't know when the day happened where I said "I don't need to wear makeup', I think it was more of a gradual thing. But since leaving therapy in 2012 I have grown increasingly confident within myself. I think life lessons, growth, age & personal experiences have changed my outlook on things and have shown me whats really important in this world. I love myself now and although it took me bloody ages & I am still on that journey, I actually enjoy being makeup free. I am my most comfortable in trackies, a hoodie and a clean face. I started to not care about what people thought of me, if I like me and I love me then thats all that matters right? I think comments from my readers, my friends and my subscribers also helped me to feel confident makeup free too.
I guess I've just grown to keep it real. I don't really sugar coat anything. If I have an opinion on something or I have something to say, I will voice it. Us women need to empower one another because together we are unstoppable. I love seeing my friends bare faced, or other bloggers, even celebrities. Young girls and boys need to see that. That is REAL. What isn't real are the air brushed people in magazines, and the perfect bodies you see in films. Yes - that is beautiful to look at, but so are freckles & stretch marks & other little imperfections too.
Ladies (and men) be proud of who you are.. who you REALLY are and embrace yourself, bare faced and all. If I can do it, so can you.
I would like to say a huge thankyou to Megan for asking me to do this post & for also being an absolutely beautiful, inspiring lady. Megan, you support me day in and day out & I am so glad we are friends.